The Art of Transference and Countertransference in Psychotherapy

Transference and countertransference are merely phenomena otherwise known as a natural occurrence or an observable fact. These phenomena are closely related to the defense mechanism, known as projection.

Projection, on the other hand, is somewhat different. In projection, you take an unconscious ascription of a feeling, thought, or impulse especially ones that are considered undesirable in nature and you outwardly project it onto someone else. As if to say, it’s not mine it’s yours.(NOTE: My experience of projection is depicted in the poem, Good Byes.)

My knowledge of these phenomena is based from my own personal experiences in psychotherapy within the confines of the therapeutic relationships in which I engaged. I will draw from these experiences, hopefully providing you with a visual of a first hand account of what it is actually like to experience these phenomena

Getting back to defining transference; transference is a feeling from past interactions with other relationships that you transfer into your current relationships. Transference refers to the feelings a client may have towards the therapist.

Countertransference, on the other hand, is just the opposite. Countertransference are feelings the therapist may have towards the client. Feelings the therapist has had from past interactions with others are transferred to the current relationship with his client.

Either way transference is a natural occurrence that happens between client and therapist throughout the course of a therapeutic relationship. Transference of feelings, like all feelings are neither good nor bad, they are what they are. They are simply feelings; very real feelings! As I denoted in one of my previously published poems, Feelings are feelings there’s no right or wrong, like lyrics and limericks an unfolding song

The story begins....

I had been seeing a male therapist named Paul, for several years. Although, we had developed a very trusting therapeutic relationship there were many struggles and obstacles in this relationship that I had to overcome. I will only touch upon a few of them that are relative to understanding my experience of transference.

The first and foremost issue was my fear of men. "So why, pray tell, would she choose to see a male therapist?” you might be asking yourself. Trust me, so too was I. In fact, it seemed absolutely absurd.

Paul came very highly recommended from a reputable source. I was desperate at the time, not knowing where to turn; I found myself dialing his number. Making the initial call to his office was one of the hardest things I had ever done. For up until this point I had never needed help from anyone else.

Another predominant obstacle that I had too overcome was on an unconscious level, unbeknownst to me Paul resembled my father, (the very same person who abused me) in a way that only the unconscious mind could recognize.

So along with the ordinary struggle of resistance, fear and the normal transference that one might expect to encounter during the course of a therapeutic relationship. There was an additional, much more intense and pervasive obstacle that I faced each and every week.

Every time I was in the presence of Paul my symptoms would exacerbate, many times triggering a flashback. I would become paralyzed with fear. I could not speak. I would totally dissociate from the present

Through many associations and triggers he would become my father and it was extremely hard to differentiate between the past and the present moment.

Upon leaving one of those very intense sessions I immediately picked up a pen and a piece of paper and began to write. The poem titled, "Take Back the Control" was written as a result of one of those experiences.

This poem clearly depicts being triggered by silence, experiencing a flashback while simultaneously transferring my feelings of the past onto my therapist

Transference and countertransference may exist in other relationships as well. It’s just more common to hear it referred to as, existing in a therapeutic relationship. In a therapeutic relationship there is an over all advantage for the client to learn from their experience; achieve personal growth and heal.

That is based on the fact that this is a healthy and safe therapeutic relationship. I personally have experienced both healthy and unhealthy therapeutic relationships.

I have been on the side of countertransference, with a therapist that never worked through her own issues and ended up transferring them unto me. It was an extremely confusing time. It was like being abused all over again. I was going to therapy to get better and felt as though I was sinking deeper and deeper after each visit.

A therapist, like a parent is supposed to be someone you can look up to, trust and learn from. Luckily I had many good years of therapy behind me before I encountered this relationship.

Even then it was extremely difficult to work through and get out of. It took its toll and I ended up in a psychiatric facility for a short period of time to literally get my feet back on the ground again.

Sometime during the course of my therapy, my husband,Tom and I entered into marriage counseling with a counselor named Ben.

Due to the nature of my issues relating to sexual abuse and my fear of men; I soon found myself overwhelmed and feeling trapped. Having three men in my life, two of which were representing the same person was more than I could handle at that time.

Talk about transference, this was transference running amok. Something had to give. To lessen the confusion and to maintain my sanity, I made a decision to leave my therapist, Paul.

The decision to leave Paul was a very difficult and painful decision. I had very strong and favorable feelings towards Paul. He had taught me so much and had always been there for me with support and loving guidance.

Hence in my panicky state of mind and seeing no other way out; I decided I would find a female therapist to continue dealing with my abuse issues; thinking that this would free up some of the confusion and fear, allowing me to continue on with the marriage counseling with my husband, Tom and our counselor Ben.

I never gave it any thought as to how I would feel or what I might encounter after leaving the therapeutic relationship with Paul. At that time I just needed to feel safe and needed to know that there was a way out

This was the first relationship that I had ever left on my own accord. This in itself was a huge step for me.

Several days later Tom and I were traveling in the car. I became aware of a sinking feeling and was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness. It seemed to come out of nowhere. Thoughts and feelings relating to leaving my therapist began to surface and were consuming me.

I picked up a pen and a piece of paper and began to write.

As with all feelings what lies on the surface is usually only the tip of the iceberg; a powerful triggering force, creating a chain reaction like cascading domino's to what lies beneath the surface.

My losses ran deep, very, very deep; the feelings emerged from the depths below and were unbearable. I began to write; these feelings were expressed in a poem. The title of the poem was “Good Byes.”

Several months later I reflected on this poem and realized two things.

1. It was apparent that I had never learned how to deal with a loss.

2. Rereading the poem I realized that I had projected my undesirable feelings of loss onto my therapist.

By the way, for the record, the second therapist was basically chosen at random, an eanie, meanie, miney mo pick from the yellow pages.

Dear readers and fellow hubber,

if there is one thing of value that I wish you to take from my experience it would be that you go that extra mile in choosing the right therapist for you. Aside from a normal credential check you may wish to have a word with your perspective therapist on the topic of transference.

The moral to this story, take heed from a reputable source or your may encounter an experience that may be contra indicative to the experience in which you had in mind.

Article(C)2010 Sage Williams. All rights reserved.

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